left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
