You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
