You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
