I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
