Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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