You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
