ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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