Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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