i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
