We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
