I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
