I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
