were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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