Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
