He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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