I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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