i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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