So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
