I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
