That's intense
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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