operation have a gay friend backfired
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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