used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
