return my video game
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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