you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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