There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
