there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
