I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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