the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
