hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
