you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize