They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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