Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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