Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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