we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
