we're blogging at a bar
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
