Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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