So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
