I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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