I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
