she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
third nipple confirmed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
