i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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