so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
