Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
