The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
