Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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