But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
