I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am available for nakedness
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