garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
