Don't make out with my wife yet
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize