is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Did you just see the Batmobile???
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
