I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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