whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize