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• (562): View more from California

  Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Thanks, mom.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  please don't ironically join a cult

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