Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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