it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
