HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
