What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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