Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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