Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
