Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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