Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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