Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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