So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
