There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I would fuck him just for his dog
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
