she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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