My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
