so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
