The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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