You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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