Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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