That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
