apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
