she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my shit smells like andre
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What a dumb baby whore.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
