alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
