what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize