I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
