I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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