She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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