The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
